Can we really be transparent?

In the last couple of weeks, I have heard that you have to be careful what you share with people because they may use that information against you. Ummmm.. no they can't. Especially if you have asked for forgiveness and have been set free from the guilt and shame associated with the things you choose to share.

Why are we so guarded? Why do we want to keep everything on lock down?  Why are we fighting for approval from the masses?  Why are we letting people define who we are?  We go through life as individuals who grow up in various environments with various experiences that have shaped us into who we are today. I can't be you and you can't be me; however, by my transparency you can take a different path to overcome a hurdle, a closed door, a broken heart, etc.

I am not what happened to me.  I am what I choose to become.  I choose to be a FREE spirit sharing my life with others.  The good, the bad and the indifferent.

As I mentioned earlier, don't share if you haven't been delivered from it.  By doing so, you will add more weight onto an already heavy situation.

You must also ask yourself this question... Are you ready to see and/or hear about my life journey? Don't be scared... Just because I'm sharing doesn't mean that they can see your secrets...  OR CAN they?????

HA. HA. HA. HA.

Let's go!

I'm back.....

Well, well, well.  It's your girl and you guessed it my flaws are up and out on display. It's been a minute. Ok it's been more than a minute.  And I've grown so much that I don't even recognize myself sometimes.  I've moved back to Texas I'm already ready to go back to DC or some other place for that matter.  I can't stay long so I will be tonight.

What am I?

At your best...... you are loved.

Visualize the tantalizing effect of your words caressing my mental abilities
makes me warm with desire

you have ignited my fire that drives me to succeed

to conquer where i've been told that i can not go

makes me alive with energy - skill and ease flowing through my pores..

i can.. i am... i do all the things your girl won't do

makes me long to touch and fill your needs to the point of no return.

i got you turning round and round,

lost in the web that has brought us together

ha ha makes me laugh as it tickles my insides because you are near...

causing all senses to be on alert..

i'm full..

full of the passion that has catapulted us together
You push me
i push you
this love hate affair will continue til the ends of time
we are inseparable

you are my ying to my yang
called me up in the middle of the night
wanting to know if i was Ready
what

and

who

are

you???

you are............

MY DESTINY!

Hurting but moving on!

I've been away.  I had plenty to say but my heart just wasn't in it. Why do you ask? My heart was broken on my decision to move on to the next chapter of my life. You would think that it's great, right. I'm moving on to bigger an better things but my heart was crushed at the thought of starting over and leaving the family that had been mine for the last 5 years. What in the world am I talking about? Because it would appear that I'm talking in code.  I left the church that I have been affiliated with for the last five years and its sad to say but in that move into new beginnings, it cost me what I thought were my family.

Once apart of the in-crowd, I'm now a used teddy bear left to sit and collect dust in the corner. So I didn't want to blog, I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to mourn. Because in my heart, I knew it was time to leave but I held on. I held on to all the conversations of me saying, "Hey I got ya back. You can can count on me. We are going to take this city by storm for Christ. We are going to change the world and I'm gonna be right there with you. I believe in the vision that God has shown you and I am ready to pick up the vision and run with it" I said all those things and I meant every last word.  Even today. I miss it. I miss all the things that got on my last nerves. I miss the talks. I miss our laughs. I miss my family.  Damn.  I'm all the way in the DC metro away from my biological family in Texas and now I'm removed from my church family.  ALONE.. sigh.

Writing this I want to cry. I want to go into my room, climb into bed and pull the covers over my head. Can someone please tell why when you move forward or go in a different direction does the relationship have to change? Can't we be happy for each other.  Can we still share our experiences.  We are not in the same battlefield but we are in the same war.  We both want to save souls for Christ.  I don't ever think I will understand that separation piece.  If I call you a friend, you are and will be my friend for life. 

So I'm back and I'm excited. Hurting still but moving on! Big things are happening and I promise you.. You will see more transparency from me.  That's what its about right!

The glass girl.. You see my movements and my thoughts. I'm exposed to you.

Talk to you soon.

Being Transparent/Amongst Friends

I started this blog with the intent not to disclose my identity as I figured it would eliminate a lot of unsolicitated comments from people I hold near and dear to my heart but I realize we can't be free until we can truly let it all hang out.

So that's why I've been quiet.  I've been trying to figure out what I should say and what I shouldn't say but that not being true to the whole point of this blog.  Hey my name is Deidra aka the Glass girl.  I'm originally from Texas and have been in the DC metro area for eight years now.

----------

Let me just say that I really want to delete this post and go and hide somewhere.  Should I be disclosing my business to the world.

----------

OK.  I'm back.  That mental battle for self preservation is crazy. LOL.  My heart says wait a minute and my mind says let's go and do this.  Forgive the ramblings.

Ummm. Hey I will get back to the sex post, I won't run from it. Let's see. (Senseless Plug) I'm apart of a new Radio Talk Show called Amongst Friends.  What is Amongst Friends?  Its a group of friends discussing everything under the sun concerning SEX, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, and LIFE. This show will make you laugh, scream, gasp, think, wonder, and respond. Tomorrow's topic: Legally Separated? Is your plate clean? Can I really date you?  Listen to us live tonight at 8pm EST at

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amongstfriends

and if you would like to comment. Go ahead and call in at 760-683-2662.

LISTEN LIVE EVERY WEDNESDAY EVENING @ 8PM!

STRONGHOLD: Sex is it's name!

Well. I've gotten quite a bit of feedback especially from the skeptics who think that the "Glass Girl" won't be transparent for real.  Well I'm here to tell you that I'm telling it all. So let's talk about it.

Sex.  I love it and sometimes I even dream about it.  I'll say this for all virgins that are reading. Keep ya virginity.  Stay pure. Wait for marriage because this struggle is serious.  The strangest things will get you all hot and bothered.  Like what?  Well like getting turned on because I've got a fresh revelation from the Lord or when the preacher sheds new light on a scripture or a nice smelling man or a man showing love toward his kids or a man confident in who he is.. All of these examples are things that I really enjoy so I guess its a honest reaction.

And I'm gonna tell you now. I'm not asking GOD ever to take my desires away. EVER. I want to enjoy sex and enjoy it to the fullest.  Ladies... Did you know that the main reason you have a clitoris is for PLEASURE.. You are supposed to enjoy SEX.  Yes ladies.. I'm talking to you - the old and young.  It's ok to enjoy sex.  I'm not gonna talk about the woman's anatomy right now, I wanna talk about this stronghold of sex.

This sex thing is a mighty strong thing.  I'll even say that in an attempt to not go out and sleep with the finest man who meets my physical expectations, I've often turned to SEX TOYS and PORN. Yup. I said it.  And you know what after the release, I got up and went to church and had a liberating time in the LORD.  :o). 

I won't go into detail with this post as I've much to say but I must run and enjoy my day.  The conversation will continue when I return later this evening and you better be ready because I'm ready to expose.

MYSELF that is. That's all for now but you heard it hear first from the Glass Girl where all her flaws are up and out on display.

Transformation: 2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ they are a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all thing have become new.

I have my stilettos on, my dress is hugging all that God has given me (without a body magic no less), makeup is flawless and I have a mind to worship the Lord.  I want to corporately worship him and tell him with my loudest "hallejuh" that I am in agreement with all he has to say.  I get out of my car and I proceed to the front door of the church and I am greeted with a stare so cold I need an old fashioned quilt and a small room heater to warm the chills that have been sent my way.. While my mind is telling me to turn around and forget the looks I receive, I subconciously tug a bit on my hemline and continue on into the church. Hmmm.. should I sit at the front so I don't miss the word or should I stay by the door should something jump off - whatever my thoughts were they are pushed to the side because the usher just handed me a piece of cloth.  What the hell is this and what does she what me to do with it?  What lady? A lap scarf? 1-2-3-4-5-6-7... OK.. Maybe I'm wrong and you know what I haven't been here long. So fine! I'll put this thing across my lap. Worship is nice. The songs they're singing are making me feel all good; but for the life of me, I can't stop thinking about why I had to be told to put something across my legs.  (I personally believe I have great legs. Shout out to mom and dad.)  Sorry.. Back to the story.  I'm sure that now that the pastor is up, the message is good but I'm really just ready to go. Service over - GOOD because I'm drained.  OH hell, here comes the mean ole usher - I guess she think I'm taking this lap scarf home with me and she wants to get it back before the next fly sister walks in here.  Fine!  I didn't want it in the first place. Say what?  In your church we don't wear shirts that short or pants for that matter. It's disrespect to the MOG (Man of God aka Pastor) and for the POG (People of God). You don't say.. Wait a minute is this lady telling me... Hold up.. Did she just say I shouldn't wear makeup? Wait, did she just say that I look like a street walker? Did she just ask me how am I to be used by God with all the distractions, I'm making? Oh I feel like I need to "Say Something" but my momma told me to respect my elders.  I have got to get outta here. Maybe church is not for me after all. 

and cut.. Was this some fake rendition of what goes in the church? Nope this is a playback on one of my earlier church experiences and I can vividly remember that I left my house with the intention to give praise to the Lord and left out feeling beat up and questioning whether or not church was the answer for me.

The memory has made me upset all over again because I know that God loves me regardless of what I wear. I wanted to touch on 2 Corinthians 5:17 but I really don't feel like it now.  Right now, I just want to feel good.  I'm not gonna play some worship song but what I will do is play something that makes me get up and shake my butt a lil..  And I won't even apologize for the inapropriately dressed women that are in the video.. LOL.. Enjoy because I am... 

I look GOOD and you probably do too!

That's all for now but you heard it hear first from the Glass Girl where all her flaws are up and out on display.